Summer

Murder Mystery Dinner, Chattanooga, TN

I can't believe that it's already the end of June.  Randall and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary last week in Chattanooga.  We went to the Murder Mystery Dinner Theater and had a lunch cruise on the river.  We had a wonderful time.  I'm still not sure how to feel about having a good time - should I feel guilty, should I feel thankful that God has allowed me to feel happy again, should I know that Ezra would want me to be the happy Mommy he remembers?  Probably.  But it's difficult. 

Chattanooga, TN

Oh, and by the way, guess what we saw on the banks of the river during our cruise?  What would be the chances that down in Chattanooga a family of deer would be munching on the vegetation right beside the speedboats and riverboats.  Hello there, Ezra.

I went to the mailbox yesterday and pulled out a catalog, which at first glance looked like the 50th Oriental Trading catalog that we've received this month.  Upon closer examination, though, I saw it was a party planning catalog.  Okay, we get one of those every now and then from Oriental as well.  But this one was different.  It was filled with all first birthday themes.  A whole catalog full.  And then it hit me - we should be planning Ezra's first birthday.

But I can't send cupcakes to heaven.

So this morning in the shower, I started thinking.  I can't plan the special first birthday for my little boy that I would like, but I do want to do something special for him.  So that he knows his Mommy is thinking about him and wants him to have a special day.  But here in the Egan house, we typically end up having birthday weeks.  So that's what Ezra is going to get, too.  So be looking for something in the mail the first part of August, because YOU are going to help make this a special day for him.  Be ready!

I love you, my sweet Ezra.  Mommy thinks about you all the time.  I miss you.